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Monday, October 25, 2004

My Last October 

This is a rondeau redouble challenge from Janice. My first poem using this form. i have included the pattern for future reference. As you can see, this is a repetend. Repeating the first lines in the first stanza, making each line the last of succeeding stanzas. In some way, it is like a villanelle. Once you've created the first four lines, you are almost fifty percent finished. Enjoy!

My Last October

Let it rain hard on my 18th birthday (A1)
Bring me a storm with frightening thunder (B1)
And let my guests who come, not leave but stay (A2)
This may be my last month of October (B2)


I’ve thought hard in the park as I wander (b)
How I can make it the happiest day (a)
Then it came to me with matching laughter (b)
Let it rain hard on my 18th birthday (A1)


Let the morning sun be cheerful and gay (a)
When the party’s hot it wouldn’t matter (b)
And so my Lord, I beg of you and pray (a)
Bring me a storm with frightening thunder (B1)

Leaves on my trees need to bathe and launder (b)
So does the lawn that acquired dust in May (a)
Let it rain hard like I wished last summer (b)
And let my guests who come, not leave but stay (A2)


Let the sun hide in clouds heavy and gray (a)
Like a shy li’l boy opting to stay there (b)
Make the day be loaded with fun and play (a)
This may be my last month of October (B2)


Will He ever grant my wish, I wonder (b)
This ailment I got from whores on the bay (a)
Pirulent piss I had been bound to suffer (b)
Takes its toll and I better fade away (a)

on my eighteenth birthday (refrain)

If you need further assistance please see this
Comments:
and i thought the villanelle has a very difficult rhyme scheme...well, it was for me. i tried once to write a villanelle for pasig river -- i haven't finished it yet.
 
eruannie the villanelle is one ofmy favorite forms in poetry as my favorite poem, Do not go gentle into that goodnight by Dylan Thomas is in that form. MAyb what you can do is to write down the rhyme scheme like I did so that you have a guide while oin the process of writing it.

Incidentally, I, too, am laboring with rhymed poetry as I am still in the process of building my vocabulary.

Thanks for commenting on this one.

in poetry,
 
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