Wednesday, September 01, 2004
The curse of growing old
She does nothing but sleep, her only solace
from an empty world devoid
of ambitions. Just surprised to survive
and see another day.
Outliving her husband,
She witnessed her children die,
suffered the pangs of their anguish
as they cried for help like unfed infants
pleading, gasping for milk.
She’s in a state of stupor,
a rock beneath a rushing river,
oblivious to the strength of its onrush or passing currents.
Passive, she accepts whatever floats her way.
Had she been in her prime, she would’ve question the universe.
Why couldn’t it follow the natural
scheme of things… that the first one in should be
the first one out.
As if to console her,
I touch her hands, hoping--
But as it is, blank stare passes through the most opaque things
before her eyes...like me.
She looks not at my apparently transparent face
but at the clouds.
She returns to her youth, calls out her friends
by their first names... smiles and plays with them again.
She closes her eyes
feel ko ang sinabi mo and the poem as well. i can understand what you must feel. and i dread the thought of it happening to my mom. i would probably be as devastated as you are.
i guess we all have to accept the fact that this is what happens when people age and we try to remember them when they were in their prime. i know one day, it will be our turn too.
You remind me of my own Mama whom I lost a year ago due to a chronic illness. Heavy pa din pakiramdam ko hanggang ngayon. Alzheimer's can be treated if only payagan na yung stem cell research to go on....
You've seen my lola in my family blogsite. She is turning 100 next year. She cried when I first left the Philippines. And oh, she never even stood up to take me to the door. She always has her moments every year we go home..definitely is senile now but somehow never forgets to ask for dollars from my son.
About my Mama. She's gone even before my husband and kids met her because of a heart disease. Heavy on the chest for me always. My second mom now is my mother in law. She definitely knows how to fill the void my mother has left me. So enjoy your mom while she's still young.
Doc EmerI'm sorry to hear about your mom. I don't know how I can cope when the time comes for my mother. But as it is, I don't want to see her in this condition either. Who knows what God has planned for each one of us? I still have faith in God and leave it to His will.
Ting Aling I'm sorry, too about your mother. Like you, my father died even before meeting my wife. Sayang, he could have enjoyed my children very much. Especially the boys. he loved listening to music and i can almost see him turning off the tv while my son plays the violin. Yun namang youngest ko, seems to have inherited his athletic side. Bilis lumangoy. And of course, my two girls are just plain adorable. Sigh. Your grandma is 100 years old? Wow, how many among us would ever live that long. Definitely, it would not be me.
Thanks for visiting guys. This poem is still a working poem. Ang dami pang mali. I'll let it sit for a while then re-write it as I do with most of my works.
I've just been reminded to spend some time with mom and dad, possibly for lunch today.
My dad's 77 and my mom's 68. Thank God they're still strong and healthy.